Y is for YOU Made It!

On day left in the A to Z challenge and this year, I've made it! This being my second year, I knew what I was up against. I had a better plan, a list of ideas and several set in stone topics to write about. This planning, made it so much easier.

What this challenge has really done is made me sit and write, every day for a month. No excuses. This has established a new pattern for me. One that makes me think of writing every day. After I write my A to Z post, I've been working on an outline for a new book.

I only spend 20 minutes researching the different themes that I want to include, it keeps me writing.

This is an exciting time. This idea that has been with me, festering for a few years, now feels fresh and new. I can't wait to work on it more.

So tomorrow is Z and I look forward to to it, knowing that I and many others have made it through this challenge. 

I finish with more than I started. Thank you!

Glorious Blooms

Spring it about to take hold here in New Hampshire. The Weeping Willows along the pond have yellow buds. The snow drops are already receding and the crocus are in full bloom. The lush dark green of the tulip foliage, dark against the newly greening grass, heralding the glorious color about to burst forth has me pulling out the Adirondack chairs and looking through garden catalogs.

I've always loved the meaning of flowers. Each bloom has a different meaning. During Victorian times, life was emotionally strict and people use flowers to express their feelings toward each other.

Tulips are the symbol of The Perfect Lover.

Wisteria  means Youth and Poetry

 Forsythia means Anticipation.

Purple Hyacinth means I am sorry, Please forgive me, also Sorrow.

Cyclamen means  Resignation & Goodbye.

Iris means  Faith, Wisdom, Valor, Your Friendship Means So Much To Me.

 

I can't wait for my garden to bloom!

What would you say with flowers?

Countdown to Summer Camp for Mom!

Lately, time is not my friend. 

It refuses to slow down even though I am on summer vacation. Now that the July 4th weekend is gone, I need to have Monday back. I am scurrying to pack both kids for camp. 

I must have this done by Wednesday, even though they don’t leave until Sunday. Why? I have other commitments.

Even though I've tried very hard not to make any commitments for this summer, this one is for work, made last February when it was COLD. 

Off I must go at the crack of dawn on Thursday, then again on Friday. Spend two days of gorgeous summer weather sitting through this seminar.

Is it worth it? Yes it is.

Would I rather be sitting on beach or working in garden? 

Absolutely!

Once I return, I have a day with my kids before they leave for summer camp. I will review their camp bins one last time and make sure each has adequate underwear for two weeks. 

Then I pack for me. I am off to four-day writing retreat on the shores of Lake Champlain.

Summer camp for mom!

From my yard!

I love living in New Hampshire. The mountains, lakes and wildlife calm me and keep me grounded.  Everyday, I discover hidden beauty in my yard, yesterday was no different. I went to burn the brush pile. Just as I was about to toss the match in, I look down and saw.

The brush pile will look like this for a while longer.

I decided to walk the property to see what else I had been overlooking lately. This is what I found on the pond.

In the garden.

I looked along the pond and took in the texture of the trees. I love how the birches bend over the water and the lilac bushes throw purple in amongst the fresh new greens.

But what I saw today was my dream of turning my 205 year-old barn into my writing studio/retreat edging closer to the top of my wish list.

Someday soon!

Tell me, what do you wish for?

A Decade Gone!

Today my daughter turns 10. It may not seem like a major milestone to some, but it is for me. I find it hard to believe she is changing from a little girl to an emerging teen.  

Her beauty isn’t just skin deep. At 10, she possesses much poise, has a great sense a humor, is learning the flute, is very creative and artistic, and is still young enough to dream big, which she does.

She is beautiful!

With double digits, comes more sophisticated problems; navigating the endless girl drama, the beginning of hormone changes, self image conflicts, confidence issues, and so much more. I forgot how hard this all was. Or maybe, it was so traumatic I pushed it way back into the dark recess of my mind. But either way, I hope she doesn't get to caught up in it all and forget to be true to herself.

What I do know, is that she is a gift. Unexpected, but welcomed more so than any other event in my life. I want her to always know she is loved and cherished, and never want her to question her origins, like I did. She is flesh of my flesh, not adopted like me. Therefore, she was always wanted from the very first moment when I realized she was possible.

I wrote this poem shortly after she was born, knowing my miracle had happened.

So for Kendra on your 10th birthday, here is your poem.

INFERNO

The spark exploded
from within.
I held you deep inside;
the suddenness of your being possessed me.
I knew you existed from that moment.
Whispered you were inside me, an untold story
the first words, the first sentence above:
The Spark.

I warmed as you ignited into a tiny flame;
I had not experienced this before.
Not with your brother

or the one I lost before him.
Only you.
Was it because you were so unexpected,

created from joy? I don’t know.
But there you were:

My Spark.

I whispered your arrival to a stunned face,

hazel eyes dipping, reaching into me.
Those words surprised me, filled me with wonder

as astonishing as you,
I felt it too! he said.

Our Spark.

Now, thousands of hours later, I look at you
and burn inside, womb clenching,
trying to hold on.
The world outside beckons, tempts you
with twigs of knowledge
once consumed by your fire,
your hunger grows.

I can only contain you for a short time longer.

Your Spark.

You are an inferno of life, a fire, a light
so bright,
my own spark pales,
but never does my joy for you,

My Inferno.